Post Treatment

Wednesday 16th May.  My Birthday.  Treatment was over and I was looking forward to feeling better and getting all my hair back. I was looking forward full stop!!

My throat continued to get worse for a few days but the antibiotics helped with that.  The fact that treatment had all finished was rather an anticlimax.  I'm not sure what or how I expected to feel but maybe someone could have let off some fireworks and organised a parade or something!! 

My left side hurt quite a bit and I found it difficult to get comfortable when lying in bed.  There was still a certain amount of worry and paranoia, which I continually tried to shove aside.

Tuesday 5th June.  I had a hospital appointment to see the Oncologist.  I saw Dr Gilbert - he was such a lovely man.  Although they don't actually say the words "all clear", he gave me the good news that I don't require any further consultations, other than a yearly mammogram. That was it!!  All over!!

 He wished me well and said he hoped he wouldn't have the pleasure of meeting me again! 

I was improving every single day and was having more good days than bad.
 My hair slowly started to grow back in properly - everywhere! 

I wouldn't have wished any of this on my worst enemy, but at the risk of sounding horribly selfish, I've done my time.  There is no cure for cancer as yet, however one day I believe there will be. I'm a believer in things happening for a reason, but whether the reason for me having breast cancer will ever become apparent or not, who knows!?  Whatever the reason, I fought it and I won. 

More importantly I'm alive and I spend every day thanking God that I'm around to see my children, to watch them grow and to be a part of their lives.

 One Year On
Sunday 31st August 2008.  Well here I am!  My yearly mammogram is due on 8th September with the results on 3rd October.  The dread and fear I had last year going for the mammo isn't as prominent this time round.  I'm still worried about it because it conjures up so many bad memories, but it's something that has to be done and that's that!

There are no lasting bad effects from it all physically, though I do find that I tire easier than I used to.   Emotionally, I have good days and bad.  Sometimes it's like a dream, a distant memory and I wonder - did I really come through all that?   Did I really manage it?  Yes!  - I did!

My hair is almost shoulder length now and just recently I was able to tie it up - albeit with bits poking out - but I feel great about it.  My eyebrows returned, not as much hair in them as before but that saves me from having to pluck them into shape all the time!  My eyelashes returned too although they are still quite sparse - that looks like it won't alter now I'm afraid.  My nails all grew back in great condition and I can grow them long again!  Generally I feel happy and glad to be alive and embrace everything that is thrown at me.  Life is too short to worry about trivial matters - I learnt that in a hard way.  I'm planning on living to 100 and getting my telegram from the Monarch!! 

I was blessed with a wonderful family, wonderful friends both online and off, and most important of all three truly wonderful and brave children.  No child should have to go through that but they coped with it all admirably and they have no real lasting effects from it either.  They do worry about me sometimes if I'm feeling a bit under the weather but with reassurance from me they are doing really great.

Thank you to everyone who supported me through this traumatic period in my life. I don't think I could have done it without all the love and care and support that was shown to me.  I only hope that should someone need my help and support that I could do the same job for them and help them through it.

For all the faults this world has - I'm not ready to leave it yet.

I'm here and I'm here to stay!!!