Jilly the Domestic Goddess!

As many will know I am not the most houseproud person in the world!  But when I put my mind to it to have a tidy up, I really go to town and start throwing things out left, right and centre! 

I do, however, have some unique tidying up and clearing out skills!  As and when I find new ones I'll let you know.

I find that a glass of wine usually does the trick to make you throw things away and get the motivation going to tidy up!  A computer chair on wheels is also a great asset!

With a duster and polish in one hand, broom in the other, glass of wine on the table alongside a carry out chinese meal and dustpan and brush at the ready - sit on your wheelie chair and scoot around the room cleaning it all up, then relax with a nice chilled glass of vino collapso and a cigarette and admire your handiwork!! 

A tongue in cheek approach - works for me every time!


1.  Whilst sitting at the computer having a wee blether online, make sure you have a bin at your side for any rubbish, an ashtray if you smoke, a constant suppoly of tea/coffee/vodka/wine, one telephone to make calls from, a Dictionary to look up any words you don't understand and of course some polish and a duster so you can clean up occasionally.

2.  Only use the hoover if you are expecting guests to your house.  This saves use of electricity.

3.  Use plastic or paper plates and plastic cutlery to save on washing crockery on a daily basis.  Alternatively buy a dishwasher and use as an extra cupboard to hide all the unwashed dishes!  Turn on occasionally to actually wash dishes!

4.  Wear socks or soft slippers around the house if you have laminate flooring.  This ensures that when you walk around the house you will be cleaning the floors as you move around.  Take care when walking on carpet as you wouldn't want to take more dirt around the house with you than absolutely necessary.

5.  If you have furniture that doesn't go right to the floor and has space beneath it, do not move the furniture to clean under it.  Use the space for storage.  If  you do move it to clean under it then you may waste valuable time for use on the computer or phone and this may mean that more socks will get dirty having to clean the laminate floors all over again.

6.  Having lots of children ensures that you have on the job slaves for your every whim.  Teach them to use the kettle, toaster, microwave etc and how to react to your beck and call.  Once old enough they will be able to make your tea rather than you making theirs!

7.  It would be preferable to have a walk around phone so that you do not have to hang up from your call if you have to do some floor cleaning in your special socks.

8.  Make good use of any cupboards in your house.  Open the door and fling in your junk and close the door again.  One point to make here though - do not allow any visitors to open these cupboards for fear of a trip to your local casualty department!

9.  When unannounced visitors appear at your door, it is wiser to have laminate flooring in your home so that you can skate around in your special socks en route to answer the door, hence cleaning your floors as you go.  Alternatively, have yourself a wheeled computer chair and whizz around on your way to the door, flinging things in cupboards as you pass and shoving things into their storage space beneath furniture.

10.  For the absolute die hard onliners, employ a cleaner to do all of the above.  This will ensure maximum time at your desk and most pleasure to yourself!